


White Dawn

by beecoolbees



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Angst, Assassin - Freeform, Avengers - Freeform, Bae Smirin, Capture, Chitauri - Freeform, Domestic Avengers, Guns, Hydra, Kidnapping, Mental Conditioning, Military, Mind Control, OC, Physical Abuse, Post-Avengers (2012), Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Torture, Training, Trauma, Use as a battery, adrenalin - Freeform, lame long lost child storyline, oc with powers, radiation, sad times and glad times, this story sucks but its nicely written
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-03-14
Packaged: 2019-11-16 10:12:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18092357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beecoolbees/pseuds/beecoolbees
Summary: Asher Smith is a smart kid for sure, but being smart doesn't save you when the sky starts falling and you literally get fried by an alien. Project White Dawn was not more that a battery until she was bought by Hydra on the black market, but at least she knew where she came from, and she remembered who he family was. Memories make bad assassins and it doesn't take long for Hydra to fix her up right.This is a story I started writing as a self-insert into the MCU. It starts at the final battle in Avengers (2012), and finishes somewhere between Ultron and Civil war.It started out with a lot of involvement With Loki and Stark, as those we're my favourite characters when I was 15, yes, I've been writing this for 5 years. I hate female OC's as much as anyone else but this is written in first person so it's kind of unavoidable. Welcome to she shit show.





	1. Fire and Fury

It was No ordinary day. No-one was thinking about life. It was a survival-instinct powered, heroism-fueled battle, we were on the losing side against terror.

I ran down 21st street, coughing and trying to shield my eyes from the dust, heart pounding in my ears. People screamed around me, the street was mostly empty. In the air there was the occasional whooshing sound as an alien transport vehicle flew by, shooting at innocent bystanders in the nearby buildings. Strangers cowered together under crumpled cars and inside shops behind shattered glass.

Every now and then you saw them. The heroes. Red, gold, green, black. The warriors. I wished I was one of them. Just sometimes. Me, I'm just a helper, a civilian, not a hero. Helping people down to the subway and getting the injured off the streets, that was the part I took. In this kind of chaos who gets to say who the authority is? Who should hide and who should fight? I ran past many law officers in that long stretch down 21st. Dusty blue uniforms will still stand out against bloodstained sidewalks.

I had heard captain America telling a bunch of cops to move them into the basements and subways a few minutes ago. I figured I might as well help, after all, we had no army, just a few brave idiots.

What's one life lost if it's spent to save a hundred? Right? So, I stayed.

There was a little girl screaming about fifty metres ahead. One of the hovercrafts had landed near her and she was trapped in a car. I ran towards her. Around twenty aliens swarmed out like angry wasps and headed for the car. I pulled her out of the open window and began running back down 21st. She still screamed, they were following us.

A couple of shots were fired, I figured at first, to kill me, but no. They were aiming for my heels, I was sport.

I needed to get the girl away from harm, I couldn't put her in one of the nearby shops, I had to shake them first. I broke into a sprint and looked back briefly, I needed to put some distance between me and them.

I stumbled as more shots crumbled the pavement behind me. I spied one of the corners that lead to 22nd, now was my chance. I bounded around the corner and had a few seconds to leave the girl with an old woman who was hiding behind the doorway. I saw the fear in her eyes as I handed her the child. "Hide." I whispered and continued to run.

I looked back just in time to see the woman duck back into the doorway and the aliens run past. I had lost them, for now.

I heard a noise and looked up to see something red. Iron man. Or Tony Stark, whichever you prefer. He looked back at me before flying off again, a small fleet of ships pursuing him. When they had all gone past and the sound of open fire faded, the street was quiet.

Then I saw him. I almost ran right past. He was sitting amongst the rubble. Thick black blood weeping from a gaping wound in his chest. He was still. I further examined the ruins. His craft was torn in half, some of the metal charred to nothing, some of it still molten and smoking.

I felt drawn to this alien, this thing. He looked like like he had died in agony. Good. I caught myself think the word and was ashamed. I wondered for a moment if they were like soldiers called out to battle. Led by a fearful dictator, too cowardly to fight his own war. For a split second I wondered if this alien had ever wanted to fight this war. If he had died for something he believed in, or all for naught. Around his head was a band of gold, like a crown. He reminded me of a pharaoh, his leathery sunken eyes and cat-like nose. He had no lips on his exposed teeth, his jaw staggered off to the side, hanging loosely. In his eyes was a yellow and green galaxy, his pupils were thin ovals into which all light seemed to sink.

He grabbed my arm, with unbelievable quickness. I nearly jumped out of my skin. I didn't even have a chance to scream before there was a strong blow to my chest right over my heart. I was knocked back and he released his grip on my forearm. I fell down and stumbled back, scrambling to get away, unable to speak because the breath has been knocked out of me. I saw his arm fall limply through blurry eyes. He didn't stand, still I struggled to flee, my legs seemed useless like a newborn calf. The world was spinning, my heart pounded painfully loudly in my ears. Everything went black.


	2. Ashes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asher is taken into SHIELD's custody

Waking up came as something of a surprise. I felt I was back at home lying in my own bed, Charlie was sitting by my side, speaking to me. As I roused his voice changed, and I no longer recognised it. In an instant reality flooded in with painful vigor. I froze. I was too afraid to open my eyes. I didn't know where I was or whose voices it was that I could hear, but I knew I was somewhere else. My head was throbbing, I listened.

The voices seemed far away, like I was underwater. It sounded like and argument.

Ignoring my better judgement I opened my eyes, slowly, and looked around. At first I only saw the ceiling. I sat up, no one was around. Not a soul. I strained my ears for the voices but they had stopped.

I was in a small square room, the walls were mirrors, all that filled it was the bed which I was sitting in. I squinted in the painfully bright light. There was a security camera in the top corner, I stared into it for a moment and wondered if there was someone staring back.

I stretched and stood up, steadying myself as the headrush passed. Shuffling up to one of the walls I looked at myself in the mirror, examining myself. There were dark circles under my eyes.

Every fathomable question floated around my head. My curiosity and suspicion roused. I pressed my hands against the mirror to cover the light and looked through, thinking maybe there would be someone on the other side - a two-way mirror perhaps. Nothing.

I heard something. A voice. It was coming from behind the wall. I imagined a grid of hundreds upon hundreds of identical rooms. "Hello?" I heard the voices again, more than one.

I stepped back for a moment, frustrated and scared. A chill ran over me, as looking around I found there was no door in the room. My chest felt suddenly tight, I tried to take a controlled breath but I was shaking. I pressed my face against the mirror again, searching for answers. Again I saw nothing. I slammed my fist against the glass, seeing my print on the reflection. I gasped for breath, panicking. It felt like all the air had gone out of the room, and as I looked over my reflection crumple into a heap on the floor. I dragged myself over to the bed and propped myself up against it, trying hard not to have the "rocking and crying" look going on.

I saw something flicker out of the corner of my eye. I looked up.

At this point I figured out that it was indeed, a two way mirror. A very effective two-way mirror. Looking through the now glass window at me stood six somewhat ominous figures with solemn looks on their faces.

A balding man wearing a dark suit stepped forward and pushed some buttons on a panel outside of the room.

"Can you hear me?" his voice came through a speaker in the ceiling. I nodded, slowly.

"You are in a government facility's headquarters. Quarantine sector. You have been unconscious for" he paused to look at his watch. "four and a half hours, three of which was a drug-induced short-term coma. Nobody here will hurt you." I just stared, finally able to get some air in my lungs.

"You are here because you have absorbed a very large dose of an unidentified substance, administered to you by and extraterrestrial being." His voice was flat, and not overly reassuring.

"Do you recall the details of this afternoon's attack, or any of the events I just described?" I nodded again, slowly. It was fuzzy.

"Coulson." a woman with red hair spoke. She stepped forward and crouched before the glass.

"What's your name?"

I observed the rest of the people, who were stood further back in the room, each of them had their eyes fixed on me.

"I'm Natasha. This is agent Coulson and Dr. Banner." She said gesturing to the balding agent who had first spoken and then to another man who stood further back, he seemed nervous, continually folding his hands over each other.

I nodded. "Asher." I said. She smiled.

"This is ridiculous." Someone said quietly. I could just hear through the speaker. The voice belonged to a man standing near the back of the room with his arm folded. It took me a moment without the suit but anyone in America knows Tony Stark when they see him.

That's it then. This was them. I let the realization wash over me. Then questions came flooding in. Why the fuck are they here?

"Well it's nice to meet you Asher. Don't worry about Coulson he doesn't..." 'Natasha' began spouting something reassuring to me as if I was a child. My eyes and thoughts wandered toward the back of the room. I hadn't seen him amongst the carnage. He stood strong with arms folded. A body guard perhaps? No. The woman kept looking back at him while she was speaking. He was a part of the team. Stark whispered something to him behind his hand, apparently unable to keep his thought to himself any longer. As the man turned his head I saw he had a cochlear implant.

-Why are all of you here?- I signed.

He paused for a moment. Not shocked, he didn't seem to show much of any emotion really.

-We're curious.- He signed back after a moment. Well that was incredibly vague. I though.

-Why?- I replied.

He nodded his head towards Tony Stark, who was staring at me, along with everyone else, all of whom had been looking back and forth between the agent and I for some time. Natasha seemed to understand.

"Tony." She said. His confused gaze broke from mine.

"Show her." Like that the facade melted away and her face was solemn.

After fiddling with his watch for a moment, a video began playing on the clear glass that divided us. At first I didn't recognise the scene, it was somewhere in New York, upstate, during the attack. Then I saw the figure in the center of the screen. It was me. Just as I was looking at the dead chitauri warrior laying on the asphalt. I remembered seeing Iron Man there, though hadn't thought he was paying any attention to me.

I saw the alien move his hand, my heart beat out a memory. There was a crackling rumbling sound. The camera turned around as a craft zipped past in the distance. He turned back again, I was on the ground. He flew in close to finish off the alien. Then the camera flipped around. He was now on the floor. A good twenty meters from me. My body shook. There was a vibrating warbling sound through the static and what looked like a huge shockwave came off of me and he was thrown back again.

It took a moment for the realisation to set in, honestly, it wasn't the most shocking thing I'd seen that day.

-What does it mean?- I signed to the man at the back of the room. He decided it was his turn to step forward. He knelt down next to the glass.

"You're from Brooklyn right?" He asked. I gave him a look of confusion. "Your accent." He said, repeating my sign for the word 'meaning', exaggerating the motion on his left hand, as everyone I knew did. They don't hire agents for nothing I guess.

There was a long silence.

"We don't know what it means." He said. "But you gotta stay here until we find out."

Agent Coulson dismissed the company.

After that he interrogated me for some time, mostly getting me to relay the events of the fight over and over in as much detail as I could remember.

"So what happens now? These things, are they still out there?" I asked.

I didn't really expect and answer. Most of my questions were 'classified'.

"The Chitauri were destroyed. Stark hurled a nuke into their base. A few pockets of them were on separate life support systems here on the ground, our forces are dealing with them as we speak."

"So that's good right?" I asked "It's over."

He sighed. Crossed his legs. "Not quite."

"Their leader, Loki, escaped before we could catch him. He's in hiding."

"Loki? As in Norse God?"

"Depends what you believe. Loki as in killed two hundred people this afternoon is good enough for me."

He left after I said I had a headache. He told me to get some rest and then didn't return with the Tylenol I asked for.


	3. Rainy Daydream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asher waits in SHIELD custody to be assessed, and gets to know some of the other residents on ship.

I turned to look as the door opened. Stark walked in. "Hey." I said as he closed the door behind him "What are you doing here?" I asked.

"It's boring back there, and I didn't want to miss the chance to finally meet someone new on this boat." He said casually, sitting down. "So, you're not from around here, are you?"

"I'm uh, studying abroad." I answered.

He looked thoughtful. "Aren't you a little young to be studying abroad? you're about, mmm seventeen? Right?" He said raising one eyebrow at me.

I nodded. "Third year."

"Not bad" He said with a shrug. Of course he probably started uni at twelve or something.

He slouched back in his chair. "So what are you studying?"

The conversation went on like this for a while. I was surprised that he actually let me talk, you know, with everything you hear about him. I have to admit, he makes a half decent second impression.

I told him about my studies, and how Americans over-spoke their R's, learning sign language and that whole mess. He told me about how they were trying to pinpoint Loki before they could attack.

There were no windows in my cell so I couldn't tell what time it was so after Stark left I went to sleep.

-

A few hours later a guard came into my cell and told me to come with him. So they do speak, I thought.

We walked down a gray corridor. I can understand wanting everything to be uniform, but this was a labyrinth, everything looked the same.

He walked me into a science lab where two people in white coats were waiting to greet me. They were young, twenty or thirty, and they greeted me anxiously.

The girl spoke first "Hi, I'm Dr Simmons and this is Fitz- uh- Doctor. Dr Fitz." she was English and clearly, nervous. It made me feel better to know I wasn't the only one. She looked at Fitz.

"Hi." I said briefly, acknowledging them both. "So are you guys going to be curing me hopefully?" I asked innocently. "Well yes hopefully." I smiled. He was Scottish. I love the Scottish accent, you don't hear it so much in America though.

They had me sit down in a surgical chair in a wide room "So the first thing we need to do is run a couple of tests," Simmons said, picking up a long syringe, her hands trembling a little - which didn't much help my anxiety about needles. Then I remembered where I was. SHIELD doesn't have any second grade medics, it wasn't like this was her first day. Is she nervous because of me?

"Hold out your arm." she said.

I looked up and saw that Dr Fitz was standing back a good distance, not doing anything in particular. It affirmed my suspicions and my stomach sank. Reluctantly I began rolling back my sleeve. It felt like everyone had forgotten that I was just some kid. Not to mention a kid who hated needles. They didn't see me, all they saw was that shockwave on Stark's projector screen.

I held out my arm and squeezed my eyes shut, wincing in anticipation. She brought the needle closer to my arm and then stopped. She sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm not used to working with people. I'm a biochemist." She smiled. I relaxed a little. "Just, take some deep breaths."

"Okay." I said. I took some deep breaths. I still flinched when the needle went in, but I did feel a little better.

"Thanks." I said, rolling down my sleeve.

"For what? Taking your blood?" she asked jokingly.

"For treating me like I was a normal person." I said looking up at her.

She smiled. "What's your name?"

"Asher." I said.

"I'm Jemma."

There were a few more tests, for brainwashing and triggers and electrical disturbances. Jemma took some and Fitz took others. He didn't tell me his first name, but he was the first to guess where I was from. Then there was one for radiation. When I asked about that one they told me about Dr Banner. I was shocked not only at how different he was to my expectations, but also how similar our conditions were. The only difference was, we had no idea what my trigger was, or if what happened would happen again.

-

A few hours went by. I had given up talking to the security guard, so I was sitting on my chair moving the mashed potatoes around my plate. They had gone cold a fair while ago. I still had no idea what the time was, I hadn't for a while.

I got a fright when Dr. Fitz walked in the door. "Find anything?" I asked casually. He was holding a clipboard with some notes and some black armband thing.

"Well uh," he started, looking through his notes. "Most of the tests are still being processed, but from we can see you're giving off a lot of positive ions, along with some vita rays, gamma rays, even a little x-ray in there, it's- fascinating." He looked up from his charts to find my face utterly stunned and a little terrified. He cleared his throat, trying to seem a little less excited about my giving off radiation. He handed me a black loop of fabric that had thin metal plates lining the inside. "This is to be worn on the bicep, it'll help to absorb any excess energy, hopefully stop you from having an attack." I nodded and slipped it onto my arm. "We should have a more permanent solution soon."

I took the armband and put it on. "You'll need to wear that most of the time, just in case, you know, until we find a trigger." He was keeping a few metres space between us.

He didn't know at all what to say to me. I was tired of it. I felt like a lab rat.

"Look, Dr Fitz," He looked up from his notes. "I know this is a delicate situation, but going by what I've seen in the video, two metres between us won't save you if something happens." He looked sorry, I was glad he could understand what I was getting at.

He got a bit more friendly after that. He walked me through the rest of the results, none of which I understood. Apparently it ruled out certain things for a trigger.

We were still waiting for some of the results, basically the ones that could tell them if I was dying or not. The thing that gave me my power was alien, and didn't belong in my body, so we had no idea what it would do. For now.


	4. Rising

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plans emerge for the Avengers to attack the last independent Chitauri base, concerns for the whereabouts of Loki arise.

A couple of days went by, Jemma came in once or twice to update me on test results and check the energy levels that my armband recorded, that was just another thing it could do. It also recorded vitals and stuff, you know, making sure I was still alive.

A rarer occurrence was seeing Tony Stark. He came in a couple of times to have a chat, telling me about the recent developments of the plan, about Loki and the chitauri, about the rest of the "Avengers", although mostly about his role. I think we both knew he wasn't supposed to be telling me all this, I guess he thought I had a right to know about the people who were shaping my fate.

I had just finished not eating my breakfast when Agent Coulson walked in. "Director Fury wants to see you."

"Doesn't anyone know how to knock?"

He just stood and waited.

"Ok who is director Fury?"

"You'll see."

We stepped into an elevator. "Seriously, what is this about?" Coulson pressed a button and the elevator began to move.

"Director Fury thought it would be best if you knew what the plan was going forward. I do not, but seeing as we couldn't seem to stop Stark from informing you anyway." he gestured for me to go ahead as the doors opened.

I followed him down a hallway into a room where the team was sitting around the table discussing something. Some of them were there when I first woke up; Tony Stark, Natasha, Dr Banner, the deaf guy. There were others I didn't recognise. The menacing looking man in the eyepatch and an excess of leather I assumed to be Director Fury. He paused as I came in and gestured for me to sit down. Stark was sat to my right.

Fury was talking about a squadron of independent Chitauri soldiers who were still fighting. Stark greeted me at a whisper, "Hey kid. Good to be out?" He asked under his breath. I nodded silently, staring in awe at the man to my left. He was huge and blonde and wore full body armour complete with flowing cape of impracticality. I'd seen him on the news before.

"Our regular forces are having a hard time combating this group. Now I could just send you guys down there and have you kill 'em all, but, we have in fact been able to locate the position of this group's base, so, we can be sure that this group is permanently offline and, we can see if shutting it down has any effect on Miss Smith, which is why she's here." he said, gesturing towards me.

Everyone's eyes were suddenly on me. I retracted my hands from the table and shifted uncomfortably in my chair.

Finally someone spoke. "What if it's a trap?" I looked up. The man speaking was the only one in the room I didn't recognise, He wore an old brown leather jacket with his hair perfectly combed to the side, he did not take his eyes off me as he spoke. "The Chitauri gave her the power she has, what makes you think they won't want it back?"

Fury started to speak "Thank you for your concern Captain, but we have already taken that possibility into account, which is why miss Smirin will be kept in maximum security and monitored while the base is destroyed."

"And Loki?" Thor asked. "Have you found him yet?" It was interesting, Thor seemed to have genuine concern for his brother, despite all he had caused. It's an admirable trait but a dangerous one, I thought.

"We still haven't discovered Loki's position, but wherever he is he is not just waiting to be found." I could tell bad news was coming, I could see it in Fury's face as he spoke. "Seems like he's- regrouping."

How could he be regrouping? I thought. The only ones left are the ones that are on separate bases, and that wasn't many. My questions were answered when Stark began to speak.

"Seriously? I hurled a nuclear missile into space and you're telling me there's more?" He said standing up. Everyone began talking at once.

"How long have you been keeping this from us?"

"We should not have assumed the chitauri would send their entire army."

"You should've smashed the son of a bitch while you had the chance!"

"Why would they risk the extinction of their people?"

"Loki must be planning another attack."

"He's not gonna open the portal again?"

"What if we can't close the portal again?"

"We don't have Selvig as an inside man this time."

I was looking across the table at Dr banner. Him and I were the only ones who were not standing. Banner looked at me and then at Fury. "How long do we have?" He said. "Yeah and how many are coming this time?" Stark chimed in. Everyone stopped talking.

"As soon as we find Loki, we can catch him, I don't think he'll be up to much yet. As for the number of chitauri, it can't be more than the last time, their base is gone as far as we know." Fury explained.

They agreed to attack the base the next day, I was still unsure of the time. From what they discussed it sounded like it was going to be easy to shut down the main independent base. Everyone had been evacuated from the area, all they had to do was cut the power, so to speak.

After the meeting I wasn't quite sure where to go. There was no security guard come to get me, so I guessed the meeting just finished early.

I looked around the empty corridor nervously. Most of the guys had left from different exits. A voice came from behind me; "Need some help?" It was Dr Banner.

"Uh yeah, thanks. Everything looks the same around here." I said.

"Coulson didn't come get you?"

"No, a lot on his plate I guess." I replied. "I thought this place just ran itself."

"Well I expect it does, usually." He said, smiling.

He walked me to my cell and said goodbye. "So, big day tomorrow huh?"

"Uh, yeah I guess." I replied.

I was about to close the door, he turned to walk away but I stopped him. "Wait," He turned to look at me.

"Hm?"

"Are you really the Hulk?" I asked, trying not to cause offence.

He merely smiled. "So word finally got around." He said jokingly.

I looked at him carefully. "I thought you'd be taller." I said. He laughed.

He left after saying goodnight. I looked around my cell. Nothing had changed since I'd been away. The sheets on my bed were still folded neatly. The magazine Stark had brought me was still sitting on the table where I had left it after having read it for the fourth time.

The only thing different was a plate of food that sat on the small table in the corner. Chicken, broccoli and mashed potatoes. I was tempted to tell them I was a vegetarian just so I could eat something different for once. I was just being ungrateful, really it was fine.

I sat down on my bed and rubbed my eyes, I had a mild headache. maybe I'm getting sick, I thought. Getting sick had always been weird for me. I never got sick much. Not even as a baby, so when I did it was usually bad, maybe I was just trying not to think about the other possibility.


	5. Cold hands

I was still up some hours later when a loud creaking noise made my ears prick up. I sat up to see that the mirror panel door in my wall was ajar. I walked over quietly and poked my head out.

I walked out of my cell and down the hall, I could see to the end of the corridor but turned left down another corridor. It was identical to the last one. Again I turned left and again it was the same. "How do people find their way around here?" I said to myself. I decided to go back to my cell. Really I shouldn't have been out. I could get in trouble. _We're already neck-deep in that though aren't we?_ I thought to myself.

I turned back down the hall and was about to go back into my cell, when I heard a voice towards the end of the corridor. I pressed myself against the wall, as if trying to blend in. _What are you doing Asher?_  

"I'm sorry," I said to the air, trying to carry my voice down the hall. "The door was just open and I-" There was silence. No one was there. Wait; I listened, there was a noise down the hallway, barely a whisper, I couldn't hear what it was saying but it sounded cold, and mournful. And again, louder this time, then there were more, more whispers but still the same voice. It started coming closer to me, slowly drifting up the corridor. Quickly I ran back to my cell and slammed the door shut. I leaned against it, out of breath and listening; no voices.

"Asher!" Suddenly the voice was right next to me, I let out a scream that jolted me awake. I sat up in my bed, gasping for air. I must have fallen asleep.

Jemma stood in the doorway, light coming from behind her and into my dark room. "Asher?" She said, looking at me with concern.

"Yeah?" I answered, rubbing my eyes.

"It's time to go,"

"Yeah okay." I answered sleepily.

While we were walking to the lab I asked Jemma if she knew the time. "Quarter past four." She said, looking at her watch.

"In the morning?" I exclaimed in disbelief. "And what are we doing up at quarter past four in the morning?" I asked, tossing my head back and sighing.

"The testing, remember? We need some time to get you ready."

I was dreading the tests. What if something went wrong? Not even that, what if it did trigger something, like we thought it would, I didn't want to feel that again. I didn't want to hurt anyone.

We arrived at a huge room, full of computers and lab equipment, and at least ten lab assistants already busy setting up. At the far end there was a large square cell with a single chair. Up close I could see that the glass was thick, thick like the stuff you see on tiger enclosures at the zoo, that made me feel right at home. 

The next couple of hours were spent sitting very still, while the Doctors set up an array of machines around me that would monitor what would happen to me during the attack; radiation, electricity, heart rate, brain activity, even blood sugar levels, although I have no idea what that had to do with anything. Calibrating the machines on the other side were Fitz and Simmons, which had nothing to do with me as far as I could see, but I still had to stay in the cell.

Lastly I was given a new armband, "More advanced." said Dr Fitz, as he handed it to me. It looked exactly the same as the other one. I handed him my old one and put the new one on. It clung to my arm as soon as I slipped in on, which stung a little, I could see why it was more advanced now; I could put it on but I couldn't take it off. Fitz avoided eye contact with me as I looked up at him, feeling just a little hurt. I sighed. "Right." I said under my breath, trying to tell myself it was for my own safety.

At last we were ready to begin. I stood awkwardly in the middle of the cell, watching everyone, watching the screens. I had a few wires hanging off me still for the tests, but it was all the space and the thick, soundproof glass in the room that made me feel uneasy. On the monitor I could see the base. It was poorly guarded. I guess they thought no one knew where it was. The team ambushed the guards and iron man headed inside while the others stayed out to hold the aliens off. He was the only one who had a proper weapon and could be protected by his armour if anything happened. It looked kind of like a nuclear reactor, not that I know what that looks like. It was smart of them to put a backup system local, I thought.

Already I could feel something starting, I knew it was going to happen now. I felt hot, I looked around anxiously, my eyes were wide. I swallowed, trying to soothe my dry throat. Shifted nervously from foot to foot. I looked over to the screens. Everything was in order, I could see Stark and Fitz communicating over the radio. Everyone was ready, except me. Something was wrong, I could feel it. It wasn't supposed to be this easy...

Fitz was about to tell Stark that we could go ahead. I had to stop it, it didn't feel right. I stepped forward and held my hand up, trying to get their attention. "Wait!" I said, but it was too late. Before they could even destroy the base a shimmering flash of gold blinded me and I could feel myself being pulled away from the the safety of my cell, and with a blur of blue sparks I vanished.


	6. Captive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Loki's grasp, Asher finds that SHIELD hasn't told them everything.  
> warning: needles

I opened my eyes and looked around me, terrified. I was standing but not on my own. The hand that had grasped my arm now threw me to the floor. I landed on cold bricks. It was somewhat dark. I looked behind me to see a tall figure standing before me. An Asgaurdian. Loki.

I breathed heavily. I could feel the energy that I had before leave me. He looked me up and down, frowning like he'd made a mistake. His icy cobalt eyes were locked on me. 

Suddenly his gaze grew dark, he looked to the left where a chitauri general stood. "I asked for a warrior and you bring me a midguardian child!" His voice was vengeful and rough.

"He would not have used the chitauri life-force had he not been absolutely certain." His voice was course and grating to my hears, like a whisper. He had the usual chitauri armour, but with a cape and a different helmet.

I began sitting myself up, trying to back away. I looked back and forth between Loki and the general. My armband was burning. I clasped my arm. Loki looked at me.

"Let's get back to work." Just as he said it, two men cane up to me and stood me up, each holding an arm. They walked me to a prison cell that was pretty much just a brick room with bars.

They were either stupid or they knew something that I didn't. Maybe Loki could control when my outbursts happened. Then a thought occurred to me, what if he had been controlling it the whole time? But how could he? He hadn't even known what I looked like until now. That would have meant that SHIELD was completely on the wrong track, he could've made them think anything.

One of the men slammed the rusty bars shut and walked down to the make-shift laboratory where Loki and his people were working. The other looked at me and smiled, his sickeningly blue eyes seeming hungry in their dark sockets. He turned and left.

As soon as he had gone I got to work. My head couldn't fit though the gaps in the cage, so I looked for a loose bar. They were all pretty sturdy unfortunately. I searched around the floor for a rock or a nail or anything, but there was nothing. 

It was freezing in that cell. Most of my time was spent sitting in the corner and shivering, there was nothing to keep my mind off the cold, but it wasn't just the cell that was cold. It was like the chill was in my head. Like there was a frost over me, creeping through my brain and penetrating every thought. My blue fingers pulled at my hair to try and keep it away. It was all I could think of. 

I was trapped there for about two days, I think. There was no food or water. At first I tried to move my fingers and toes every half hour, and do exercise to stay warm, but after a while exhaustion took over and I gave it up.

I was sitting with my head in my knees, half asleep, listening to the dripping water at the other end of the room. I head footsteps coming towards my cell, I didn't bother looking up or moving. The cell opened with a rusty creek. Shuffling footsteps came towards me followed by a hard kick in the side.

"Get up." came a demanding voice. I groaned and slumped sideways. I tried to shuffle to my feet, rubbing my side. A firm hand grabbed the back of my jacket and lifted me up, throwing me like a rag-doll through the open door. I know 'cause my shoulder hit the bars on the way out. I coughed, suddenly wide awake, and gasping. The guard's rough hand came down on me again and hauled me to my feet. 

Keeping a hand firmly on the back of my neck he pushed me stumbling through the dark and wide expanse between my cell and the laboratory. I squinted as my eyes tried to adjust to the light. I had been in the dark for so long that in gave me a headache. It was full of science equipment and people. More, it seemed, than SHIELD. That frightened me.

He lead me to a man in a white lab coat who put a tight metal band around my wrist, then we pressed on through to a large room with a monitor in it. Once we were inside he grabbed my wrist and pinned in to the wall to the side of my head. I flinched fearing the worst, but all that happened was a small sound like crunching gravel, and then he let me go. As he walked away I pulled at my arm only to find the thick metal strap stuck fast to the red bricks. He left the room and the door slammed and locked behind him.

I looked around the room. It was poorly lit which I was thankful for, considering my eyes still hadn't adjusted. I couldn't see to the any of the corners, and I wondered what could be there. A bright light drew my attention as the monitor flickered static on the screen. A familiar scene began to play.

It was painful to see it again, and scary. It made me feel detached from my own body.  _Wait,_ there was something different about this. It was still going. An aura of pure white was thrown from my- no, their body as they screamed. _It's not me, it wasn't me,_ I told myself. But then as I looked it seemed like they were distracted my something. A noise from behind them drew their attention and they walked towards it. 

Four people had come out of hiding, their faces in awe. The camera - still Stark's - flew in closer after recovering from the inital shock, and he had his hand up in warming, ready to fire. There was no sound, but I assumed he was saying something. They looked at him confused, like he was speaking a foreign language, but they also looked dazed, as if waking up from a long long sleep. without warning or indication they put out their hand and threw a blast of energy at the onlookers, who were thrown back several feet, and didn't get up. I only got to see this for half a second before Stark began shooting at them, and they were thrown back.

I was confused, and scared, _it can't be me no that wasn't me I didn't do it!_ , but there was no denying it. I fell to my knees, surrendering to the grief and anguish that came with what I had done. It seemed to go on forever. Whispering, reminding me of the innocent blood on my hands.  _Murderer_. The silent screams echoed in my mind.

I sobbed, gritting my teeth, bitter tears falling of my cheeks. "Well," Came Loki's voice. "This  _is_  a surprise."  I looked up as he walked towards me. "I knew you were weak but tears miss Smith?" He said leaning down towards me. "It's pathetic." He began to pace around me.

"What do you want from me?" I said looking at him with hatred.

He turned to me with venom in his eyes and struck me across the face. I sat leaning my forehead on the wall. My wrist was buckling under the strain, I tried to prop myself up to reduce the pressure.

"You are undeserving of such a gift." He said vengefully.

"If you want it why don't you just take it?" I said bitterly, breathing heavily.

I stood slowly, rising to his level as best I could. "Why didn't you take the power for yourself?" I looked up at him, waiting for an answer.

He laughed. "I need a soldier. I already have ultimate power." He said with a sly smile.

"I am not your soldier!" I said, raising my voice in denial.

Again he laughed "You will be." I didn't understand what he meant until He drew his scepter towards me. The blue jewel at the end blazed brighter. I struggled to move away from the pointed end of the scepter. I tried to pull myself away but the wrist band wouldn't give.

The scepter tapped the center of my chest and I filched, expecting him to plunge it strait through me. I looked back at him when nothing happened. Anger flickered in his eyes. He looked confused for a moment. He looked me in the eyes. His face was very pale, like he was sick especially around his eyes.

He pulled the scepter away from me cautiously. He paced around the room thoughtfully. I  wondered what was going on. "They won't save you. Your 'heroes'." He said, the villainous smile returning to his face.

"You hope." I said

"Oh but I know."

" _I_  know." I said. "I know, because even if they don't find me they  _will_  find you. Because they're better than you." I jeered. "You will  _never_  win."

His eyes were dark when he turned to me. He waved his scepter and another metal wristband appeared in his open hand. Seizing my arm he forced it onto my wrist. He pinned it up high on the wall  and did the same with the other. I struggled and strained but he was too strong for me.

I was now pinned to the brick wall with my arms spread wide and my feet just barely touching the ground. "Let's test it shall we? See if they come for you. Wait here for your Avengers, dwell on the victims of your slaughter, _here_ , and in your torment you will yearn for sweet death. They will  _never_  come for you. At least not until they join you in captivity."

Loki stood over me, staring into my eyes. I felt his breath on my face as he talked, his voice chilling me to the bone. My head swirled. I could feel Loki stamping on my every last hope. My skin burned but inside me was still frozen.

I was utterly helpless. He could see the anger brewing inside me. I could tell. His expression changed, slowly morphing into a cruel smile. "Rage?" He chuckled. "I like it." He backed away from me and began pacing again. "It suits you." He said gesturing towards me with his scepter. If his smile had not been in this context it might have seemed to display genuine happiness.

"I will be seeing you," He walked right close to me and put his lips right up to my ear. " _Very soon._ " He whispered. He smiled deviously as he walked out of the room, saying something to the guard as left.

His voice echoed in my head. Like one I had heard before. Triggering thoughts and memories. The dream. I froze. The dream that I had the night before the testing. That icy, blood-chilling voice, creeping into my head, penetrating every thought.

I panted. "Get out of my head." I whispered. The Metal bands were cutting into my wrists and I near shook with fear and hate. "Get out of my head!" I screamed. In the blurry corner of my tear-filled eyes I saw Loki look back at me and smile. This was what he wanted. I let him win. I hardly noticed as someone put a needle in my arm that pulled me down into kind, quiet darkness.


	7. Capture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asher meets May

 When I woke up there was a bright light in my face. Slowly my eyes adjusted to the light and a figure came into view. She long black hair and olive skin but her eyes were blue. She looked at me from behind her glasses. She was the first woman I had seen since I got here. I strained and grunted, sitting up. My chest and arms felt stretched and sore from hanging by my hands. I could still fell the cold deep inside of me.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." She said. putting her notes down on the table and rushing to my side. She put her hands on my shoulders and urged me to lie back.

"Take it easy." I sat back, looking around. 

"You wake up fast." She said, laughing. She seemed jittery and shy, but not afraid of me.

"What?" I said sleepily.

"You wake up fast. You've only been out for a half hour." I didn't get it.

"The serum they gave you was enough to keep you asleep for two hours huh?. I didn't get to finish all my tests." She said with a pout. I frowned, she was acting weird. Like she was completely unaware of the situation.

"Well now that your awake you can eat something." I brightened right up at that. She reached over to the table and placed a sandwich on the bench beside me. I inhaled the sandwich. I was so hungry. I don't even know what was in it, couldn't even taste it.

"I'm May by the way." She said extending a hand. I looked up an sighed.

I reached out to shake her hand. "Asher."

 "Oh yes, I know all about you." It was just a little bit creepy. She giggled "Our names rhyme."

"Hmm no they don't." I said under my breath.

I wondered if I had been put in the loony bin. She gave me a glass of water and then handed me some red lollies. "Your blood sugar levels are way down." She said. I took one out of the bag and sucked on it. I felt instantly less weak after eating something.

I tried to sit up again. "Hey!" May said. pushing me back down.

"I said you need to rest, your wrists can't take any pressure. They were cut up pretty bad earlier. You heal really fast but the skin is really fragile at the moment." She paused, paging through her notes. I examined my wrists. They were red and stinging, like paper cuts.

"For some reason, um, your body doesn't want to form scabs or clots or scars." I was confused. "It's found a new way to regenerate,"

"How?" I asked.

She looked at me and wrinkled her nose. "It's like- your immune system finds mistakes in the body and fixes it to the way it was when they zapped you with the ray-gun thing. I don't know what it's called, I'm not that kind of doctor. But anyway, instead of doing something different to combat it before going back to normal, it takes a shortcut. So instead of making a scab it just starts growing new skin straight over the top."

"Uh huh." I was freaking out just a little but, but I got over it. I started thinking it through in my head.

"But aren't some changes good?" I asked.

"Well, yes but I mean who doesn't want to be seventeen forever right?" She said cheerily.

"I can't age?" I hadn't thought about that. It wasn't such a bad thought I guess, It's just freaky.

She shook her head. She returned to her notes. "Also, from what we've seen so far, small wounds seem to heal up pretty fast, and according to the boss, your body probably won't change at all until Loki's finished with you, that is, you won't grow, and you probably wont die." 

I couldn't deal with the thought that I was immortal, luckily I wouldn't have to for some time. "What happens when Loki's finished with me?" I asked, unsure whether I wanted to know the answer.

"He'll kill you." She said, as bubbly and cheerily as she said anything else.

Again something I didn't want to deal with. I tried to clear my head and handle each issue as they were due. "So why does it make an exact copy of me instead of improving?"

"Well it does improve certain things, strength, concentration, but the person they chose - that's you - was specially picked for instinct and potential." She said, looking at something through a microscope.

I chuckled quietly to myself. I don't know why they would pick me. Then I remembered seeing something in that alien's eyes before he fired that strange weapon at me. ' _He would not have used the chitauri life-force had he not been absolutely certain'._ I could hear the generals voice in my head, he must have seen something in me. I guess it was just something that I couldn't see.

"And the cold?" I asked, processing my thoughts.

"Hmm?" She murmured, not looking up from her microscope.

"Is that part of this too or do I just need a jacket." 

"Oh no, that's not from the life force, that's just Loki, he's in your head." Maybe I really was in the loony bin.

"I'm sorry?" I said.

"He's in your head. He's in all of us, he's showing us the way _._ " She replied, she wasn't joking, and even though she sounded crazy, she did truly seem to believe in what she was saying.

I sighed and closed my eyes. "Ok." She laughed.

"You'll understand someday." She said. "As for the cold, I'm not sure. He's probably just messing with you." She said casually.

I frowned at her. "And you're just okay with that?" I said in frustration.

"Look Asher I know nothing makes sense now, but don't worry, it will." Her voice was soothing and motherly, but it brought me no comfort.

My wrists healed after a while, May said the damage was quite substantial. There were some basic tests, similar to the ones I had to do back at SHIELD. The whole time I felt off, I wasn't being threatened, but I knew I wasn't safe, but I couldn't escape on my own so what would be the point? Should I run? Should I try? The whole this had a jarring sense of unease, like a knife in the corner of my eye, not close enough to hurt me yet, and only just close enough to see, yet far enough that I could have simply imagined it.

May gave me some new clothes, plus a black jacket with a hood that was thin but warm. I was putting on the jacket when she stopped me. "What's that?" I started to panic, she had noticed the armband that I was still wearing, the one Fitz had given me.

"Uh, it's nothing." I tried to deter her but she persisted.

"No come on let me see." She said, pulling back my jacket and leaning in to see, he glasses perched on the edge of her nose. I didn't know what to do, but I knew I couldn't let her take it.

"It just an armband." I tried to say casually. I never was very good at casual though.

She looked at me and smiled, raising her eyebrows. She knew I was lying. She tried to take it off but I pulled away. "No, don't I need it." She didn't listen.

She pulled at the armband and it came off surprisingly easily. I was puzzled at first, but then, maybe it was just me who couldn't take it off. I knew that they would figure it out eventually, but he had bought me a little time. I hoped she would suspect nothing and let me keep it, but I'd already blown that chance before I even knew I had it.

She held the armband, rolling the fabric in her hands. As soon as she took it of I felt myself becoming warm, and more alive. I was a good feeling but I didn't trust it. That armband was what was keeping me and everyone else in the room safe, and now it was gone.

"What's it for?" She asked. I said nothing. I just starred at my shoes.

She sighed. "I will find out, you know that." I knew she would find out, but obviously I wasn't too keen to speed up the process.

She told me to stand up and come with her. "Where are we going?" I asked, hoping it wasn't to more tests.

"Your new cell." She said.  _New cell?_  I thought. She lead me down hallways and through rooms filled with science equipment and people and computers. The one thing I didn't see were other prisoners.

It dawned on me that these people weren't being forced to be here, not were they here because they were bad people. May seemed good enough, no, it was what she'd said about Loki being in her head, in all their heads. He really was, he's really got all these people, not prisoners in the sense that I was, but in their own minds. I couldn't decide which was worse.

 


	8. Awake

My new cell was a big improvement on the last one. It was similar to the one back at SHIELD headquarters. It had one brick wall and two white plaster walls. The wall facing out towards towards the village of laboratories was one large piece of glass with a door in it. It had been built onto the side of the wall and looked very out of place. 

I headed inside and looked around. There was a narrow bed in the corner with a thin white mattress, no table though. I turned around to say something to May before I could say anything the door was shut and May was walking away towards towards labville. 

I sat on the bed just thinking. I rubbed my upper arm tentatively. It felt strange not having the armband there. There was nothing to do but watch people go tirelessly about their business. It never seemed to stop, nobody left, nobody took a break. I tapped rhythms on the floor with my shoes. I lay on the bed, waiting for something to happen. I did a bit of exercise, some sit-ups and stretches. I used to do it when I didn't want my mind to wander, I could use the endorphins anyway.

After a while the lights in my cell went off. There was nothing to do but lie down and watch the warm orange glow that labville emitted and the shifting shapes of people passing until I drifted off to sleep.

Sleep seemed like a blink, not dragging on into the night like it did before. The lights were on when I opened my eyes, I stretched and yawned. Sitting up I could see someone walking towards my cell. It was May. She wasn't the best company or friend, but I was glad to see her.

"How are we this morning?" She asked joyfully, unlocking the door with her card key and coming to sit on the bed beside me.

She handed me a bowl of porridge which I started eating strait away. "You've got a physical after you've finished." She said in her usual thick Californian accent.

"Physical?" I asked through a mouthful of porridge. It didn't taste like much but it was food.

"Physical examination." She said. I nodded.

"I took a look at that armband you had on. It wasn't nothing was it?" She sighed giving me a half smile. "Keeping you from using your power. We can't have that can we?" I sighed.

"How does it feel without it?" She asked. I didn't answer. " _See?_ SHEILD will tell you they know what's best, but they only do what's best for them. Loki does what's best for all of us." I shifted uncomfortably.

May sighed and placed a hand on my shoulder. "Soon you'll understand." That didn't make me feel any better. "Anything else you want to tell me?"

"No." I said

"Well in that case I have some work to do." She said standing up. "Come on, I'll take you to Darren."

We stood up and were about to leave when May pulled something out of her pocket. "I almost forgot." She said revealing the small metal wristband. I drew back, trying to hide my wrists.

"Don't worry, no one's gonna string you up this time. It's just a precaution, to help you behave." I was reluctant to let her put the wristband on me, but the large man occupying the doorway made me think resisting was a bad idea. 

May walked me across though labville and down some stairs where there was an elevator. She pushed the up arrow and waited patiently. "Darren's an old friend of mine, you'll like him."

"Only it's not Darren is it?" I asked. May looked at me, confused. I had been waiting to bring up the subject and now was as good a time as any.

"It's Loki in his head, it's not him anymore." May just sighed and laughed.

"Asher don't be silly, of course it's still him, trust me. Loki hasn't taken us over, nothing like that, he's just shown us something new, something wonderful. I wish you could see it too."  _Lady, when are you going to stop spouting bullshit. Don't you know how you sound?_

As for Loki I don't know why he hadn't used his mind control voodoo on me yet. I almost wished he would, then I wouldn't have to be a prisoner, I could be content, like May. Even if I was being controlled by a power-hungry psychopath. I immediately abandoned that thought.

The elevator doors opened and May gestured for me to go inside. "Aren't you coming with me?" I said, wishing she wouldn't leave.

"I've got work to do remember?" She said just before the elevator doors shut in front of her. I felt the elevator rising.

The steel doors opened and light flooded into the compartment. When my eyes adjusted I looked around there was a large dusty looking landscape, the horison was completely flat. A few people stood around, waiting, for me as it turned out. In the distance there was a platoon of soldiers running across some kind of running track like they had at the unversity.

 A strong tall man came into the elevator and detached the wristband from the wall, he walked me out into the light. I looked up to see wher I had come from.

The elevator was attached to a huge, thin building that didn't look like it was thick enough to fit anything inside, just wide enough to keep it up. It must have been the biggest building I had ever seen. It was still covered in scaffolding that creeped up the building like tiny spiderwebs.

In the sine of an unfinished wall there was a figure standing looking down over the scene. I thought Loki had better things to do.  The man stood back and looked me up and down. He whispered something to the person beside him who immediately scrawled something down on his notepad.

"Run." He said commanding. I Didn't know what he meant. Run where? To what? How long? "Run!" He shouted with his voice hoarse. I could see he wasn't about to give me specifics. I began running, in no particular direction at first but then I decided to follow the running track. I ran and ran, listening to the sound of my breath. Rasping and burning my lungs in the cold, still air.

I approached the start of the track and began slowing down. "Keep going." Darren said in his rough voice. Well I assumed it was Darren. I kept running past into another lap. It must have been the evening because the sun was going down and the sky was becoming pale yellow and mauve. Although how could it be the evening? I thought. I just had breakfast, but I hadn't known what the time was since SHIELD, so I suppose it made sense.

My thoughts were interrupted my the deafening crack of a gun shot. I looked over to see Darren, gun in the air. I took it as a sign to seed up. Two laps. Another shot fell near my feet and I sped up even more, I could feel the adrenalin pumping and I was terrified. Three laps. "Faster!" I was sure I couldn't go any faster, but I tried.

The air burned my lungs but I kept going. Four laps. Five laps.  _Bang._ Six laps.  _Bang, bang._ Seven laps. Eight laps. Nine. Ten. Eleven. Eleven. Thirteen? I lost count.  _Bang, bang, bang._

I could feel something burning inside me, something I had felt before. My face got hot and I ran faster than I had before, an inexplicable thought driving me on. I turned off the track and headed towards Darren. Subconsciously I knew what was going on, it was the same as in New York. But it was like another person was emerging from behind my skin, like they had been waiting and growing. And now there was nothing I could do but watch.

With all my hate and anger I looked up to the tower and saw Loki perched in his nest, still watching me. I stopped running for Darren. I headed for the tower. I slammed my foot hard on the ground and pushed myself up with all my power. I shot up through the air, suddenly terrified at the height I was at. Loki, coming up fast as I flew towards him, and for a split second I saw the smirk on his face as he raised his scepter. It shone blue and bright and a shuddering, deafening beam came towards me, sparking and burning and It hit me like a hurricane, a burning, bone shattering wave. The blast repelled me back in the air and I fell out of the sky.

I felt the air rushing below me, the ground meeting me with a dull thud. I landed on my back, the wind knocked out of me, dust flew up around me, pain rippled up my spine. I heaved for air, burning tears coming to my eyes. It seemed like forever until I could inhale, and the breaths came in short, deep gasps, my eyes wide, staring up to the sky, not moving.

I dropped my head to the side. Behind the scrambling of feet and flying of dust I saw the elevator doors slide open. A dainty pair of shoes rush out. I looked up to see who was attached to them. It was May. My ears were ringing. She ran to Loki, who was now down from his perch. I blinked and squinted, trying to see what was going on. Loki glared at May, but she looked panicky and frantic, her hands were shaking. She flicked through her notes and pointed to something in them. She was talking fast like she had limited time.

Loki's face turned dark. His eyes rested on me, May looking to me with here eyes wide and her lips pursed.  _What did I do?._ I could tell something bad was about to happen. Loki paused and then said something to May. I desperately wanted to know what it was, but all I could hear was my heart thumping in my head. He began walking with heavy footsteps towards me. I struggled and coughed, trying to roll onto my side, but I was utterly helpless.

He reached down and put one hand on my shoulder, and then there was a bright light that blocked out the desert.

 


End file.
